Interpreting Doctor's Advice

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Dr., "drink more water."
Me, "okay, I will buy some bottle water on the way home."
Dr., "no, bottle water is bad for you."
Me, "okay, tap water it is."
Dr., "no, to many water treatment chemicals."
Me puzzled, "okay, my mom has a well."
Dr., "no, contains to many metals and possible bacteria."
Me really puzzled, "there is a stream in the woods."
Dr., "no, animals pee in that."
Me really really puzzled, "what water am I suppose to drink?"
Dr., "oh I don't care. Just makes sure it is clean."

I came up with a plan on my way home. The next time it rains I will stand outside with a funnel in my mouth. I smile at my genius as I sip my diet coke.